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Read time: 10 minutes

Welcome to Tactical Memo, my newsletter where I share frameworks, strategies, and hard-earned lessons for leaders navigating project execution, AI fluency, and leadership.

If you’re looking for my cheat sheets and deep-dive guides, the vault is linked at the bottom of this email.

👉 Why Read This Edition: You will learn how to neutralize subtle disrespect, regain control in real time, and set boundaries without escalating the room. These moves protect your authority, your presence, and your credibility as a project leader.

The Briefing: Today’s Focus

• Why subtle disrespect is more damaging than open conflict

• The rule that keeps you in control

• A tactical playbook for shutting down hidden insults in real time

• A reader’s question on handling passive aggressive leaders

• Free Webinar: Stay Irreplaceable as AI Changes Project Management in 2026

Why Subtle Disrespect Is More Dangerous Than Open Conflict

Direct conflict is easy to spot.
Hidden disrespect is not.

It comes wrapped in tone, “helpful advice,” raised eyebrows, jokes, side comments, or phrasing designed to make you question yourself.

These micro jabs do real damage. They weaken confidence, slow decision making, and undermine authority in front of teams and stakeholders.

Most people let them slide because they do not want to look defensive or emotional.

But when you ignore subtle disrespect, you do not look strong.
You look permissive.

And the person delivering the jab learns one thing:
They can get away with it.

The goal is not to start a fight.

The goal is to shut it down with clarity and calm, so the power dynamic resets immediately.

The Rule: Stay Direct, Stay Neutral, Stay in Control

The moment you sound irritated, you lose ground.
The moment you over explain, you lose clarity.
The moment you let it go, you lose momentum.

The move is simple.
Stay direct.
Stay neutral.
Stay in control.

When someone uses subtle disrespect as a tactic, they are expecting you to either ignore it or overreact.

You will do neither.

This playbook shows you exactly how.

A Tactical Playbook: 7 Ways To Shut Down Hidden Insults at Work

Each scenario below includes:
What they say.
What you say.
Why it works.
And how to use it as a project leader.

1. The Backhanded “Interesting Approach”

They say:
“Interesting… didn’t expect you to take that approach.”

You say:
“Help me understand what you meant by that. Be specific.”

Why it works:
You force clarity.
You make them explain the jab they wanted to keep vague.
You expose the power play without sounding defensive.

Project leader’s move:
Any time someone questions your approach with tone instead of substance, ask them to walk you through their concern clearly. Most people retreat when forced into specifics.

2. The “Must Be Nice” Time Attack

They say:
“Must be nice to have extra time for things like this.”

You say:
“That sounds like an assumption. What made you think that?”

Why it works:
You surface the bias they tried to hide.
You force them to justify the comment.
It puts the spotlight back where it belongs.

Project leader’s move:
Use this when people imply you have it easier, lighter workloads, or special treatment. It resets the power balance immediately.

3. The Vague Insult About “People”

They say:
“Some people here struggle with the basics.”

You say:
“Let’s stick to specifics. What exactly needs fixing?”

Why it works:
Vague insults are used to criticize without accountability.
You eliminate the fog.
You redirect everyone back to real work instead of passive jabs.

Project leader’s move:
Use this in team meetings when someone tries to undermine without naming names. You stop the behavior and refocus the room.

4. The Fake “Helpful” Feedback

They say:
“Just trying to help… if you can take feedback.”

You say:
“If you have actual feedback, say it directly and cleanly.”

Why it works:
You reject the disguise.
You remove their passive shield.
You force them to communicate like an adult.

Project leader’s move:
This works especially well with senior stakeholders who hide criticism behind “advice.” You keep the tone neutral but the boundary firm.

5. The Sensitivity Jab

They say:
“Relax, you are being too sensitive.”

You say:
“The comment did not land that way. Let’s address it clearly.”

Why it works:
This stops gaslighting on the spot.
You reclaim control of the narrative.
You bring the conversation back to facts instead of emotions.

Project leader’s move:
Use this when someone tries to blame your reaction rather than their comment. It is one of the fastest ways to restore authority.

6. The “That’s One Way” Undercut

They say:
“Well, that’s… one way to do it.”

You say:
“If there is a concern, state it plainly. What is the issue?”

Why it works:
It exposes their indirect jab.
It forces direct communication.
It shuts down passive aggression immediately.

Project leader’s move:
This is your go to response when people want to sound superior without committing to actual criticism.

7. The “Don’t Take This the Wrong Way” Setup

They say:
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but…”

You say:
“Let’s skip the setup. What is the actual point you are making?”

Why it works:
You remove their safety cushion.
You neutralize the insult before it lands.
They must either say their point directly or retreat entirely.

Project leader’s move:
Use this anywhere someone tries to soften a jab with a polite preface. It keeps the conversation clean and accountable.

What’s Happening

Free Webinar: Stay Irreplaceable as AI Changes Project Management in 2026

AI is reshaping how projects are planned, executed, and delivered—and 2026 will be the biggest turning point yet. Stay Irreplaceable as AI Changes Project Management in 2026 is a fast, 30-minute strategy session led by Justin Bateh, PhD, designed to help you understand the skills, power patterns, and execution habits that will keep you essential as AI accelerates. If you want clarity, a game plan, and a competitive edge going into the new year, this session is your starting point.

The Briefing: Reader’s Question

Q: “How do I deal with leaders who are passive-aggressive but subtle enough that calling them out would make me look like the problem?”

A:
You never call them out.
You expose the behavior by making them clarify it.

Passive aggression lives in the gray.
Your job is to remove the gray.

Here is how to do it.
Ask for specifics every time.
“What exactly are you concerned about?”
“What issue are you pointing to?”
“What makes you say that?”
Neutral questions force clarity.
Clarity kills passive aggression.

Second, never match tone. Stay calm, concise, and steady. When you refuse to amplify emotion, their tactic loses all power.

Third, bring the focus back to the work, not the vibes.
Say, “Let’s stay on the problem we need to solve.”
You re-anchor the conversation in results, not personalities.

Passive-aggressive people only have influence when others play along.
You do not play.
You lead.

Cheat Sheet Vault

p.s… As promised, click the link below to download my free cheat sheet and infographic vault.

👉 Access the Vault Here

Until next time,
Justin

✍️ From the Desk of Justin Bateh, PhD
Real-world tactics. No fluff. Just what works.