Read time: 7 minutes

Welcome to Tactical Memo, my newsletter where I share frameworks, strategies, and hard-earned lessons for leaders navigating project execution, AI fluency, and leadership.

If you’re looking for my cheat sheets and deep-dive guides, the vault is linked at the bottom of this email.

👉 Why Read This Edition: You will learn an easy feedback method that helps your team grow without fear, stress, or confusion. The 3:3 method makes feedback clear, simple, and helpful.

The Briefing: Today’s Focus

• Why feedback feels hard

• The rule that makes feedback work

• How to use the 3:3 method with your team

• A reader’s question on giving tough feedback

Why Feedback Feels So Hard

Most leaders wait too long to give feedback. When they finally do it, the feedback feels heavy and the other person feels surprised. That is when people get defensive.

The real issue is not the feedback. It is the lack of a clear system. People can handle direct and honest feedback. What they cannot handle is confusion, mixed messages, or a sudden change in tone.

When feedback feels normal and expected, people relax and listen. The 3:3 method keeps the conversation calm because it gives both sides a simple map to follow.

The Rule: Feedback Must Feel Safe, Simple, and Clear

People grow best when the feedback is clear, steady, and predictable. If feedback feels personal, they shut down. If it feels random, they get nervous. If it feels complicated, they get confused.

When you use a simple pattern, the person stops worrying about what is coming next. They focus on what you are saying.

That is why the 3:3 method works so well. It makes feedback feel normal and useful instead of scary.

A Tactical Playbook: The 3:3 Feedback Method

1. Set the Frame Clearly

Start the conversation by saying, “Let’s do a quick 3:3. Three things going well and three things to tune up.” This simple line removes fear and surprise, which are the two biggest reasons people shut down during feedback. When your team hears the same opening every time, they know the pattern and they stop bracing for bad news. The goal is to normalize feedback so it feels like maintenance, not punishment.

This frame also helps you stay calm. You are not delivering a speech. You are running a small routine that keeps everyone aligned and growing.

2. Begin With Real Strengths

You always start with three strengths, but they must be real, specific, and tied to the work. Saying “good job” or “nice work” does nothing. Say things like, “Your early drafts keep us ahead,” or “You help the team stay focused during meetings,” or “You calm tense moments before they slow the project.”

These are strengths that matter. They reinforce behaviors you want repeated. Strengths build trust. When people know what they are already doing well, they feel safe enough to hear the tougher parts of the conversation.

3. Share Three Simple Improvements

Once strengths are clear, shift gently into growth areas by saying, “Here are three things that will help you grow.” This keeps the tone future focused and calm. Make each improvement short and easy to understand, like “Speak up sooner when you see a risk,” or “Tighten your updates so leaders can decide faster,” or “Ask for help earlier so we do not fall behind.”

The secret is simplicity. If the improvement requires a paragraph to explain, it is too big. Break it into smaller actions they can start right away.

4. End With One Question That Opens Dialogue

Wrap up by asking, “What part of this feels most helpful to you right now.” This shifts the conversation from a lecture to a partnership. They talk. They reflect. They tell you what they want to focus on first. This question builds ownership. It turns feedback into a shared plan instead of a list of orders.

You are not there to correct them. You are there to help them grow in a direction that strengthens the whole team.

5. Follow Up One Week Later

The 3:3 method only works when you check in. One week later, ask, “How is your 3:3 going. What feels easier. What still feels hard.” This shows you care about their progress. It also proves the 3:3 is not a one time event but part of how you lead.

This simple follow up builds trust faster than anything else. It shows consistency. It shows support. And it shows that you take your own feedback process seriously.

Bottom Line

Feedback does not need to be stressful. It does not need to be long or emotional. When you use the 3:3 method, you create a simple and safe rhythm that helps your team improve without fear. People grow faster when the steps are clear. Your projects move better when your team knows how to get better. The 3:3 method makes that possible.

What’s Happening

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The Briefing: Reader’s Question

Q: “How do I give feedback to someone who believes they are doing great, but their work is actually slowing the team down?”

A:
This is one of the hardest situations for any project leader because confidence without performance creates friction across the entire team. The key is not to confront them with force. The key is to guide them with structure. When someone thinks they are doing well, they need a calm, predictable system that shows the gap without making them defensive.

Start by naming one real strength they bring to the team. This keeps the door open. Confidence is not the enemy. Blind spots are. Once the strength is clear, move straight into the 3:3 method. Walk them through three strengths and three improvements in clean, simple, plain language. No long explanations. No heavy emotion. Just steady, clear direction. You are not trying to win an argument. You are trying to help them see a path forward.

End with, “How does that sound to you.” This gives them space to respond and shifts the conversation from correction to collaboration. Most people accept feedback when it feels fair, honest, and easy to understand. You are not tearing them down. You are giving them the clarity they need to step up.

Cheat Sheet Vault

p.s… As promised, click the link below to download my free cheat sheet and infographic vault.

👉 Access the Vault Here

Until next time,
Justin

✍️ From the Desk of Justin Bateh, PhD
Real-world tactics. No fluff. Just what works.