🚩Tactical Memo 098: Fair Is the Lazy Answer
Same meeting for 6 different people. Your team has a different word for it than fair.
Justin Bateh
October 01, 2026
Tactical Memo #098 | The Unwritten Rules · Management | 5 min read
Tactical Memo: Tactical advice for navigating work, leading people and projects & staying ahead with AI. Read by 18,000+ leaders at Amazon, Deloitte, and Google. Forwarded? Subscribe free.
In brief The situation: You run the same one-on-one with every person and call it fair. The mistake: Confusing identical with fair, which quietly fails half your team. The move: Stop managing people evenly and start managing them accurately. |
The story
You run the same one-on-one with everyone on your team.
30 minutes. The same 3 questions. You call that fair.
Same meeting for 6 different people.
Your newest hire leaves still unsure what "done" looks like on her first project.
Your strongest person leaves wondering why you're asking about work he finished 2 weeks ago.
Neither of them got managed.
Identical treatment feels fair to you because it's easy for you.
If your team gets the same meeting from you every week, you're in the same spot.
The best managers don't treat every employee the same. Here's how to work with it.
The moves
1/ Set the level by task, not by title
A title tells you almost nothing about what someone needs from you this week.
Look at the biggest task each person owns and ask how many times they've done it.
The first time gets clear direction and early check-ins. The tenth time gets the outcome and your trust.
Your most senior person can be brand new at running a vendor negotiation. Treat them like a veteran there and they'll miss while you watch.
Match the support to the task, and nobody gets smothered on work they've mastered or stranded on work they haven't.
Ask this "How many times have you done something like this? What do you want from me on it?" |
2/ Rebuild the one-on-one around the person
Your newest hire needs 30 minutes a week on what "done" looks like.
Your strongest person may need 15 minutes every other week on what's blocking them and where they're headed.
Same calendar slot. Different meeting.
A one-on-one that runs on your template is your meeting. They're just attending it.
Build each one-on-one around what that person needs this month, and they'll stop treating it like a status check.
Do this Ask each person what this meeting should cover for the next month. Then change the length, the frequency, and the agenda to match. |
3/ Ask how each person wants feedback
Most managers give feedback the way they like to receive it. That's a preference, and it's yours.
Some people want the note the minute you spot the problem. Others want it in writing so they can think before they respond.
You won't know which until you ask.
Ask ONCE and write down the answer.
The right note delivered the wrong way lands as criticism.
Delivered the way they asked for it, the same note lands as help.
Say this "When I have feedback for you, do you want it right away or saved for our one-on-one? In person or in writing?" |
4/ Find out what each person is working toward
One person wants the next title.
Another wants to get great at one skill.
Another wants a steady year because life outside work is loud right now.
All of those are legitimate goals. Managing them the same way serves none of them.
Ask, then connect their work to the answer.
People push harder on work that moves them toward something they chose.
Ask this "What do you want to be better at a year from now? What could I put on your plate that gets you there?" |
5/ Give your best people harder work, not more work
Most managers reward their strongest person with more volume.
It feels like trust to you. It feels like a penalty to them.
Give them the problem nobody has cracked yet, and take something routine off their plate to make room.
Then hand the routine work to someone for whom it's a stretch.
Your best people stay for the challenge and leave over the load.
6/ Explain the difference before anyone guesses
The moment one person gets more check-ins than another, the team starts guessing why. They always guess the worst version.
Tell each person what support you're giving on this task and why. Say it OUT LOUD.
Name it before they do.
Unexplained differences read as favoritism.
Explained differences read as a manager who pays attention.
Say this "This is your first launch, so I'll check in every few days until the plan is locked. After that, it's yours." |
7/ Keep the bar the same for everyone
Flex how you support people. NEVER flex what you expect from them.
The quality standard is the same for every person on the team. So is the deadline.
Support moves. The standard stays put.
Lower the bar for one person and the rest of the team notices within a week.
Different support against one standard is what fair actually looks like.
Say this "How I support you will change from project to project. What I expect from you won't." |
The outcome
| Most people | You |
|---|---|
| Run the same one-on-one and call it fair | Match support to each person's task |
| Give feedback the way they like to get it | Give feedback the way each person asked for it |
| Let the team guess why support differs | Say why support differs, before anyone asks |
Proof. Gallup found the manager alone accounts for at least 70% of the variance in engagement from one team to the next. Gallup
This week
Treating everyone the same is the easiest management there is (it also means you never have to defend a judgment call).
Easy isn't the same as fair.
The managers people fight to work for make a different call for each person and explain every one.
Try it next time. Pick 1 person and ask what they need from you on their biggest task.
Identical treatment is the fastest way to lose your best people and stall the rest.
Reply
If you manage people. Do you run the same one-on-one with everyone on your team? Reply with same or different.
If you report to someone. Does your manager treat you exactly like everyone else on the team? Reply with yes or no.
I read every one.
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Until next time.
Justin Bateh, PhD
Former COO, LinkedIn Top Voice
Founder and Editor, Tactical Memo